I’m not unlucky at love…i’m just extremely good at being single!

 

In a previous post i talked about being 24 and never being in a relationship. Well update: I’m now 25 and i’ve never been in a relationship and not even come close.


Why is love so hard to find? I know this isn’t the case for a lot people but for me it just seems to be impossible! I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a while now and by a while i mean a number of years (how embarrassing!). The day i first signed up to one i was sure that i was going to meet a nice guy, go on my first date and then begin a relationship but that’s all too easy isn’t it!

Basically during the time i’ve been online dating i’ve never actually met up with a guy, so i’ve yet to even have my first date. I must have had over 100 conversations with guys and whilst yes that may sound like a lot, i’d say over 90% of those conversations lasted a few messages long. The remaining 10% are the conversations that have had meaning to them and i’ve gotten on well with the guys but for whatever reason they just never amounted to anything.

I just seem to find it so hard to find a guy who i actually even want to consider meeting. Maybe i’m being quite picky but i always seem to have doubts with a lot of the conversations. I’ve had a lot of problems with guys stopping replying, showing no interest, wanting sex or not looking for any sort of relationship and then also with them not living near me. These things that always seem to happen just make me constantly want to give up. I know that online dating isn’t the be-all and and end-all and there are other ways to meet guys outside of it but for me that isn’t really an option. My lack of social life (that’s a story on it’s own) means that i never go out to the places you tend to meet guys like bars etc. so i feel like that is my only option.

I don’t know why i find it so hard to meet someone, there is meant to be someone for everyone and let’s face it, it’s unlikely i’ll find my happy ever after with the first guy so that would mean there is multiple people for everyone! To some extent i feel like my dating life is on a permanent pause and with things always seeming to stay the same, it can be really easy to get stuck into a mentality of believing that i will be single all my life.

I think that positivity is the key, to just keep on having conversations and putting myself out there and one day there will be someone who i just gel really with. Not knowing when is the biggest thing because it could happen in a month or it could be in a year. I’m just going to carry on being myself and if a guy can’t except me for me then i’ll talk to as many as i need to find the one that is right.

You can pretty much guarantee that i will be doing another post on this but will things be different for me next time? Only time will tell!! 

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10 Things I Hate About Tinder

I’ve been signed up to Tinder for a while now and i do think it’s one of the better dating sites. However, the time spent on Tinder thus far hasn’t changed my love life in the slightest. I’m constantly finding myself getting annoyed with it and honestly (well for me), i don’t believe it can amount to anything romance wise.

Here are the things that have got me annoyed….


1. Group Photos
How am i meant to know which one you are, if all your photos are of a group of like 20 guys? And not to sound judgy but the chances are, it ends up being the one you didn’t want it to be.

2. “It’s not my kid”
I’ve come across many profiles where a guy has a photo with a baby/kid and you can’t help but automatically assume he has a child. He then has to state in his profile that “It’s not his kid”. 

3. “It’s my sister in the photo”
Along the same lines as the previous one but this time it’s when they have photos with a girl who looks their age. Even though guys with girlfriends shouldn’t be on dating sites (though some do!), you can’t help but assume they must have a girlfriend!

4. Pretending to be a famous person
There isn’t many of these profiles around, when you do come across one though, they are actually quite funny. I seen a guy whose pictures were all of the actor Ansel Elgort from The Fault In Our Stars and another guy using pictures of Jensen Ackles from Supernatural, yet he was using a different name. How can they possibly think that they can get away with it? 

5. Do guys actually message first or at all!?
Maybe i’m matching with the wrong guys but seriously i would say that i must start the conversation about 95% of the time and more than half of the conversations don’t happen because they never reply! I don’t know, maybe i’m matching with the wrong guys!

6. Not being able to have preferences
I get that Tinder is trying to offer something different to it’s competitors but not having preference for certain things annoys me!
Here are some examples of things we should be able to preferences on:
🔴If someone is a smoker
🔴If someone has a kid
🔴What they are looking for e.g dating, fun, serious relationship
🔴How big of a social life they have

7. Not knowing what a guys intentions are
The other week a guy super liked me which rarely happens. He was giving me compliments, we had things in common and the conversation was flowing nicely. Then he asked me for my snapchat and we spoke on there for a while and then suddenly he asked me if i wanted sex.
This is something that happens all the time and i know everyone has different preferences but that’s just something that isn’t on the top of my list when it comes to dating. This is probably also one of the main reasons why i have doubts about the site at times.

8. Being unmatched/ignored when i’m having the best conversation 
Picture the scene, you think you have found your dream guy and you are having such a wonderful conversation. You literally have so much in common, you don’t live far apart and you are both looking for the same things. Then out of the blue the guy just randomly unmatches you or they just stop replying and you just have no idea why. Did i say something wrong? Did they even like me? Was i catfished? You will never know but it’s super annoying and can make you feel crappy inside.

9. When they have the wrong age…. mainly because they lied on Facebook 
Multiple times i’ve come across profiles where guys are the same age as me (25) or somewhere near that and then i look at their profile and actually they are much younger. When young people want Facebook but they aren’t old enough, they put in a much older date of birth hence their profile saying they are older than they are.

10. Mentioning in their profiles that they take drugs or that alcohol is one of their favourite things in life
Firstly drugs are a big no! Secondly, i’m not against drinking. I am teetotal but i don’t have a problem with it whatsoever. What i do have a problem with is someone who goes out drinking every night. I just don’t think it would work for me!

 

I’m 24 and i’ve never been in a relationship….

Yesterday i came across a  video from a Youtuber named Sammi Quinn titled: I’m 20 and I’ve Never Been in a Relationship! and from watching it and reading the comments it really resonated with me.


I’m not afraid to admit, that i myself have never been in a relationship. I’ve always felt quite isolated when it comes to my relationship situation. Apart from a girl i met on Twitter who’s in the same situation, i think not knowing anyone personally who too hasn’t had a relationship has added to it but seeing the community of people who are in the same situation makes me feel less alone.

I’m 24 and aside from never having a relationship i’m also yet to have my first date, first kiss and basically first everything. It’s easy to put blame on myself and to feel like i’m the reason that i’ve been single all this time. I’ll think that i’m not pretty enough or that i don’t have a good enough personality, the reasons go on and on.

It’s also hard seeing loved up couples on the street or on social media and wishing you could have even a tiny bit of what they have. People who were in my year at school are getting engaged, some are even married with kids and i just feel like if they knew about my love life they would think that i’m a joke. 

Not once in my school life did i had a guy show interest in me. People would get asked out all the time at school but not me! Sure enough i had crushes but they would always turn me down, a couple of them ended up dating my then best friend which hurt my feelings. It made me feel like i wasn’t good enough compared to her and it impacted how i seen myself looks wise.

I’ve been signed up to dating sites for a number of years now and i have yet to actually meet someone from it. I’ve had a number of conversations with various guys, quite a few have shown interest in meeting up but i always end up backing away and quite often i just stop messaging them. I know it’s awful of me to do that but i get scared about the thought of meeting up with an actual guy for the first time and just cannot face the situation.

The thing is, i know why i’m scared to meet someone.
1. I’m scared and i’m nervous, i get that nerves are normal and to be expected but i’m shy enough as is.
2. My insecurities don’t help. There are thoughts going round in my head like “Would he find me attractive?”, “Would my outfit look nice?”, “Will my shyness make the date awkward?”.
3. The fact that i’m 24 and with every passing year i’m getting older and feeling more negative about getting a boyfriend and i just get used to being single and am more accepting that someone like me just isn’t going to find love. And the longer time goes on the more embarrassed i feel.

Despite everything that i have written in this post, i won’t force myself to find a guy just for the sake of it or to impress others. I’m continuing with the online dating with a positive attitude and if i get talking to a guy who i really feel a connection with then i’ll cross the bridge of meeting him when i come to it. 

If you are reading this and you feel like you can relate to what i have said then please leave a comment. I love talking to people who are in the same boat as me and it’s nice to communicate and update each other on how things are going. Also if you were in my situation and you’ve found your first love then please tell me your stories, it will be nice to hear what you have to say. Please only comment if you have someone nice to say on this, negativity isn’t appreciated. 

Dating site messages part 3!

Here’s another compilation of some of the messages that i’ve received recently….

I wanna paint you green and spank you like a disobedient avocado, if you don’t like green i can paint you yellow and you can be my impertinent pineapple instead


Hello, yes, I’d like to sign up to join the religion where we worship your face. Yes, the face-worshipping religion.


Is it bad to look at your pic n imagine you sucking me 🙈😍😍 your so hot


Yum
U interested in a sugar daddy?


Hey, I’m pretty sure that You look familiar, didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry 😌


Are you a thief because I think you just stole my heart!!!!!

And my kidneys because I just woke up in this bath of ice with these scars oh god please send help xx


 

Dating site messages part 2

A while ago i did a post about some of the messages i’d received whilst on a dating site and in this post i will be showing you some that i have gotten recently. So for your enjoyment here goes…

Note: Not every guy sends messages like these.


Do you have to wear them glasses or are they a fashion statement?


Mmm you look like a sick kisser


Hey girl, I don’t suppose you have the phone number for the ordinance survey, I want to tell them I’ve found an outstanding sight of natural beauty 😜😉


Is the rest of you as pretty as your eyes? 😍


The things i would do to you! 


So why do i get the feeling that you’re the kinda woman who would look fantastic in handcuffs?


Excuse me, i’m looking for a friend.. do you want to be my friend


If i flipped a coin, what are the chances of me getting head haha x


Sausage or bacon? Red or brown sauce?


I would x
– (I replied with “I love that One Direction song too!” i personally thought it was a genius reply to his creepy message.) 


Hey how are you? I’ve got a free house if you wanna come round?


I also had some guy tell me that he wanted to give me a ‘facial’ and i was quite grossed out by him so i told him and then he decided to block me! He did me a favour by doing that!


Let me know which of these was your favourite and if you have you ever received any like this. 

 

Messages i’ve been sent on a dating site

Being on a dating site means that are you open to receiving all different types of messages and whenever one pops up in your inbox you never know what it’s going to say. Here are some messages i received during my time on a dating site.
Lets just say these conversations never went any further…


Is your Dad a boxer? Because your a knockout

Hey, now stop searching I’m here !

Why are you on here, you’re so beautiful and don’t need to be using a dating app.

Hrlloo

You n me baby ain’t nothing but mammals so let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel 🐒🎤
But on a serious note.. although there’s plenty more cheekiness right here 😜… Hope you’ve had a pleasant week? Btw, what can swim faster, a dog or a horse? 🤔

You can drag me to music concerts if it meant I could hold your hand

 Are the odds im my favor do ya think 😏?

 

Life on a dating site: A review

Sometime last year i decided to join a dating site. I’ve always been unlucky in love so thought why not give it a try? I joined Zoosk first and after leaving that found myself on Plenty of Fish, i’m no longer on the latter but i’d never say never about joining it again. I’m going to talk about my experiences on both sites.


Since i was new to the world of online dating Zoosk was chosen as it was the first on the list when searching dating sites on google, on reflection i probably should’ve checked out other sites before just choosing the first one i clicked on.

It was quite easy to register with the site but it became clear upon signing up that in order for me to actually talk to anybody i would need to pay for a subscription. I really didn’t want to give up my money for something that might be a waste of time but all i could do on it was send people a message saying i’m interested and view profiles, there was no way i could communicate with anybody, so i did give in and paid for a full month as the site was useless without it. I then discovered that even when you do pay everything isn’t free.

The month i spent on there was just a waste of my time and money. If i was to send a message to someone and they hadn’t subscribed then they couldn’t reply or contact me in any way. So i could send a message to a guy and be left wondering if he was just ignoring me or just couldn’t reply as he hadn’t subscribed! They wouldn’t tell you if the person was a subscribed user so you had no idea at all and could be wasting your time for nothing, it was stupid.

And then there was a feature where all you would see is an image of a user and from that you had to choose yes, no or maybe as to wether you would meet them or not. Talk about judging people on looks and how from just a picture could that make me know if i wanted to meet someone or not? For each person you said yes or maybe to you’d get a coin and if it was mutual that you both wanted to meet, you’d use the coins so you could view their profile. If you had no coins then you couldn’t view their profile and had to buy them.

During my time on there i did have a few conversations with guys and there was only one who i ended up exchanging numbers with but it never went anywhere as he lived to far away and it just wouldn’t have worked and i noticed that after a while the same guys would show up and it just became boring. As soon as my subscription ended i left the site straightaway, overall i wouldn’t recommend it to anybody.

Not long after that i decided to join Plenty of Fish or POF as it is known, there was quite a few questions to answer upon joining but once signed up it was very easy to use and it was all new and exciting for me as there a lot of different guys on it and more people who lived near me which i thought was good. This site was free to join and whilst there is options to be an upgraded member which comes with a few perks, you don’t really need to pay to join as you can send messages and view profiles and such all for free which was a massive improvement from Zoosk.

Not being an upgraded did mean that i was unable to see if a guy had read the message i’d sent him but after a few months it somehow decided to let me see if they’d read them which was very weird as i never upgraded. Whilst i liked having the privilege at first i hated it towards the end as i was forever looking if my message had been seen and when i didn’t get a reply from certain guys it was annoying knowing they’d read but chose to ignore me.

POF also had a meet me feature similar to the one on Zoosk but it was way better, instead of just showing a photo it let you read their profile too so it wasn’t based just on looks. The only niggle again was that you couldn’t see who wanted to meet you without subscribing but again that appeared to me one day too like with the messages. I did get some use out of it and messaged a few guys as i thought that they may have been more interested in me with them saying they were interested in meeting me.
Another feature on it was one that listed the top guys who you matched with the most and out of all the guys on the site they were the ones who they think you should be dating. I highly doubted that the list was accurate as many of the guys on my list were ones i’d talked to and not had stuff in common with or ones who just never replied to my messages.

Overall i didn’t dislike my time on POF, i had a number of conversations with guys some of them i talked to for months and some for a short time. There was one guy who i’d been talking to for a while and i liked him but he just decided to randomly block me one day without telling me so be prepared for guys doing that to you! I did get quite a few others who just stopped replying when we were halfway through the conversation and that did really annoy me as it was just a waste of my time. I met up one guy overall and whilst nothing came of it, it did make me have a better opinion of the site and that there could be a chance of meeting someone nice. It never really felt like i’d seen every user after a few weeks like the other site too, there were always new people joining up so there was always new someone you could message.

I’ll be honest here, i’ve never had a boyfriend and wouldn’t say i’m a very social person outside of work, so i felt that joining this would be give me a chance to talk to guys and maybe find one who liked me enough to want to meet me. I didn’t feel like there was a guy on there who i did want to meet up with. I guess i’d gotten a bit bored of it as i’d been on there about 6 months and the conversations were feeling a bit same as being asked the same questions over and over made me lose interest. That’s why i wouldn’t say no to signing up again as i feel that there could be someone on there for me but right now i don’t really feel like i can give it my attention and i’d just be having conversations with my heart not being in it. For all of you out there who are quite weary of joining, i would say don’t dismiss it as an option, yes there are guys who aren’t being themselves but there are also guys who are genuine and really would like to get to know someone. So give it a try and see what you think, it doesn’t have to be POF there are plenty of other sites that may be even better than that so give them a shot.

If anyone reading this has ever been on a dating site let me know your stories.