I’m 24 and i’ve never been in a relationship….

Yesterday i came across a  video from a Youtuber named Sammi Quinn titled: I’m 20 and I’ve Never Been in a Relationship! and from watching it and reading the comments it really resonated with me.


I’m not afraid to admit, that i myself have never been in a relationship. I’ve always felt quite isolated when it comes to my relationship situation. Apart from a girl i met on Twitter who’s in the same situation, i think not knowing anyone personally who too hasn’t had a relationship has added to it but seeing the community of people who are in the same situation makes me feel less alone.

I’m 24 and aside from never having a relationship i’m also yet to have my first date, first kiss and basically first everything. It’s easy to put blame on myself and to feel like i’m the reason that i’ve been single all this time. I’ll think that i’m not pretty enough or that i don’t have a good enough personality, the reasons go on and on.

It’s also hard seeing loved up couples on the street or on social media and wishing you could have even a tiny bit of what they have. People who were in my year at school are getting engaged, some are even married with kids and i just feel like if they knew about my love life they would think that i’m a joke. 

Not once in my school life did i had a guy show interest in me. People would get asked out all the time at school but not me! Sure enough i had crushes but they would always turn me down, a couple of them ended up dating my then best friend which hurt my feelings. It made me feel like i wasn’t good enough compared to her and it impacted how i seen myself looks wise.

I’ve been signed up to dating sites for a number of years now and i have yet to actually meet someone from it. I’ve had a number of conversations with various guys, quite a few have shown interest in meeting up but i always end up backing away and quite often i just stop messaging them. I know it’s awful of me to do that but i get scared about the thought of meeting up with an actual guy for the first time and just cannot face the situation.

The thing is, i know why i’m scared to meet someone.
1. I’m scared and i’m nervous, i get that nerves are normal and to be expected but i’m shy enough as is.
2. My insecurities don’t help. There are thoughts going round in my head like “Would he find me attractive?”, “Would my outfit look nice?”, “Will my shyness make the date awkward?”.
3. The fact that i’m 24 and with every passing year i’m getting older and feeling more negative about getting a boyfriend and i just get used to being single and am more accepting that someone like me just isn’t going to find love. And the longer time goes on the more embarrassed i feel.

Despite everything that i have written in this post, i won’t force myself to find a guy just for the sake of it or to impress others. I’m continuing with the online dating with a positive attitude and if i get talking to a guy who i really feel a connection with then i’ll cross the bridge of meeting him when i come to it. 

If you are reading this and you feel like you can relate to what i have said then please leave a comment. I love talking to people who are in the same boat as me and it’s nice to communicate and update each other on how things are going. Also if you were in my situation and you’ve found your first love then please tell me your stories, it will be nice to hear what you have to say. Please only comment if you have someone nice to say on this, negativity isn’t appreciated. 

January Favourites

Make Up:

 Max Factor smokey eye drama kit
– 02 Lavish Onyx
– 03 Sumptuous Gold
I purchased the Sumptuous Gold palette a couple of months back and was really impressed with it, so much so that i constantly use it. The colours are highly pigmented and look really beautiful. I recently purchased the Lavish Onyx palette and that is just as good. I didn’t know until i looked on the Max Factor website that each palette is suited to a different eye colour. Weirdly enough Sumptuous Gold is suited my eye colour, brown.
The palettes on the Max Factor website

 Barry M molten metal nail paint
– Copper Mine
For christmas i got a set of 3 of the molten metal nail paints and all of them look really nice but copper mine is the one that i keep choosing out of all the nail polishes i own in general. Firstly the colour is stunning and secondly i love the effect that it gives on my nails, it makes them look like they’ve been done a salon.
Molten Metal nail paints on Barry M Website

Food:

 Orange cake from Cooplands bakery
I am addicted to this cake! I’m not sure if there are Cooplands all over the UK or if they all sell this cake but if you ever come across it then you have to try it. Believe me you won’t regret it. It is absolute perfection.

 Books:

Taylor Swift: This Is Our Song
I got this book from Tesco in the sale and i’d previously seen it a few weeks back, of which i knew i would eventually buy it. Sale price or full price it is totally worth every penny. It is a book created by fans of Taylor Swift for fans of Taylor Swift (Does that sound confusing?) Basically, because Taylor herself has never released any books about her life, a group of her fans decided to create something and the book is literally jam packed full of stuff. It contains many different articles written about Taylor from different stages of her career, fans talking about why they love her and many other things. I really enjoyed reading this and found out stuff about her that i didn’t know.
Taylor Swift:This Is Our Song book on Amazon

Girl Online: Going Solo – Zoe Sugg
If you haven’t already read the first two books in this fabulous series then you need to. I’m not going to give anything away with it being the third instalment but i will say that i really enjoy these books and once i start one i can never put it down. This one was probably my fave out of all of them so far (hopefully there will be more to come), there seemed to be many different plot lines from start to finish so i was constantly wondering what was going to happen with this and that. To some Zoe Sugg may just be known as the YouTuber Zoella but these books really show that she has talents in other areas too.
Girl Online books on Amazon

 TV:

One Tree Hill
So this may have been in my December favourites but i just had to put it in for this one too! I am nearly done watching series 5 and in total there are 9 series so there is still a long way to go. With it being quite a while back that i originally watched the show, i’m finding myself enjoying it a lot more and there have been quite a few bits that i don’t seem to remember. Re-watching it has made me love the show more than i already did! 

Celebrity Big Brother
I used to really enjoy CBB when it first started but then as the series went on i found myself getting bored and only then caught bits of it. But i really got quite into this series, the main reason for this was Jedward. I know that with Jedward you either love them or hate them and with me it’s the former, i’ve liked them since their X Factor days. I find them entertaining and funny but there is also this innocence they have which makes them even more likeable. I also think the addition of Kim Woodburn added to the entertainment, during her time in the house she had many arguments which made for great TV.

Let It Shine
Saturday night TV isn’t complete without a talent show and this show is a perfect addition. Gary Barlow is doing a stage show named The Band which will feature the music of Take That and he needs to find 5 guys to play ‘The Band’. This show is out to find the 5 guys for the roles. The first few shows were the guys auditioning and then the one who are successful get whittled down and put into groups of five and sing live for viewers who decide which group they want through. But the two groups who get in the bottom can we switched around and a new group can be formed. I think it’s something really fresh and there is a lot of talent on the show that i don’t believe any of the contestants don’t deserve their place. I would most definitely be interested in watching the final product.

Music:

 One Direction
Though i’m always listening to One Direction songs, i found myself playing them a lot more recently. I got all the albums together on my iPod and made a playlist and they make for great car music. One Direction’s music is just a constant thing and i never tire of hearing it. I did a post My fave One Direction songs back in January where you can out what my faves are.

 Songs on an old MP3 player
I found out an old MP3 player of mine and there were songs that were left on it and also i added all the albums of some of my favourite artists and i’ve really enjoyed listening to songs i’ve not heard in a while. I’ve got Taylor Swift, Adam Lambert, Little Mix and Britannia High to name but a few. The latter was a UK musical TV show that only ran for 1 series due to it not performing as well rating wise had hoped. I only have a positive  opinion of the show and every now and then i listen to the songs – they are just really catchy songs and the cast have great voices.

 Ed Sheeran – Shape Of You & Castle On The Hill
I think i’m right in saying that most people have heard these songs by now! I think that these are 2 of the best songs that he has ever released and i await the release of his new album. Out of the 2 my fave is Castle On The Hill, i get a 1D vibe from it and i really want them to cover it sometime. I really like the video for it too.

 Robin Stjernberg – Rain
I doubt a lot of people are familiar with this Swedish artist, apart from representing Eurovision back in 2013 he hasn’t really made waves here in the UK. I’m glad that he did Eurovision, Robin is now one of my all time fave male singers and he keeps outdoing himself with the music that he is bringing out. Every time he brings out a new song i fall in love with it and again it’s happened with Rain, this song would not be out of place in the UK charts, in fact it’s something the likes of Zayn or some top DJ would release. 

December Favourites

Here are my favourites for the month of December (And i’m still loving most of them now!) I apologize if this post is long!


Survey Websites:-
With taking surveys patience is the key, some surveys can be short and only take 5 minutes whilst others can be much longer and take over 30 minutes. Sometimes you might answer a bunch of questions to then be told that you haven’t qualified, which can be annoying. But there are many surveys out there and they can also be a great way to give your opinion on something that really matters.
Mintvine  –  You get directed to as many surveys as possible, giving you the opportunity to earn many points and you can choose from a range of reward options. You have to wait for the surveys to close before you can get your points and then it usually takes about a week for your reward to arrive.

MySurvey I’ve been signed up to this site a few years now and it’s a great site. Sometimes there is no surveys available for a while and other times there are loads. Points are added to your account straight after completion and there are many different vouchers available and they usually take over a week to arrive.
YouTube:-
December was a great month YouTube wise due to it being VLOGMAS!! There were many YouTube videos available daily in my subscription box and i managed to catch up with them all – i loved having so many videos to watch! My faves were:
 VelvetGh0st (Vlog Channel) & VelvetGh0st (Main Channel) – As soon as Gabby uploads something i always watch her videos first and this month’s videos were no exception. Whether she is sat at home doing nothing or out and about i always find them so entertaining.
Zoella (Main Channel) & Zoella (Vlog Channel) – I always enjoy Zoe’s vlogmas stuff. She uploads two videos a day during vlogmas which must require a lot of work and you can tell that she put so much effort into every video. I love that Zoe always uploads lengthy vlogs and she gets up to so much and to that the main channel videos which contained a variety of stuff.
PointlessBlogVlogs – Alfie always gets up crazy stuff in his vlogs and they are just really fun to watch and whilst his and Zoe’s vlogs can be quite similar when they are doing the same things, there is a lot of stuff from his perspective what is unique to his vlogs.
tewsimple – If you’ve not heard of Paula’s channel then you should totally check it out. She vlogged every day during vlogmas and each one was entertaining to watch. I feel i can relate to some of the things she talks about and it’s great to hear her music recommendations being a big music fan myself.
Movies:-
Romeo & Juliet – At School we studied the play and we watched the version with Leonardo DiCaprio which i really enjoyed and i finally got around to watching the 2013 adaption. It featured a great cast (Hailee Steinfeld as Juliet & Douglas Booth as Romeo to name but a few) and i thought it was just as good as the other version.
Nerve – It’s about a game called Nerve where you complete challenges, most of which are quite dangerous and for each challenge that gets completed you get money and move up the leaderboard of which there can only be one winner. Emma Roberts stars as Vee, who decides to play Nerve after her best friend basically tells her she doesn’t take any risks. She then gets paired up with Ian played by Dave Franco and along with working together they also find love. This was one of the best movies i’d seen in awhile, it’s gripping from start to finish and the chemistry between Roberts & Franco seemed really real.
Christmas Movies  – There is this movie channel on Sky called Christmas24 (Movies24 when it’s not Christmas) and they show all these American made for TV movies and whilst they all have the same predictable endings i find them fun to watch. Some of my favourites are Christmas In Boston, Guess Who’s Coming to Christmas & Christmas Magic.
TV:-
The X Factor – Whilst i’ll be quite honest in saying that i didn’t enjoy this series as much as previous ones, i was really happy with Matt Terry being crowned the winner as he was my favourite from his first audition. He was the rightful winner in my opinion and made for a nice end to the series.
Good Morning Call – I discovered this show on Netflix and it makes for addictive viewing! It is a Japanese romance show about a girl called Nao who rents out this apartment only to find that it’s been double booked and she ends up sharing with Uehara one of the most lusted after guys in school. There is only one series currently but they are making another and i still have 2 episodes left to watch (I’m saving them as i don’t want it to finish!) but it’s just such an addictive show. There isn’t any characters who i dislike they all bring something to the story and each episode brings something new.
One Tree Hill – For Christmas i got the complete series boxset and i was so happy as it’s one of my all time fave TV shows. I only started watching it again just over a week ago and i’m already on series 2. I’ve not watched the show in a long time so my mind was a little hazy with some of the episodes and storylines but i think i love it even more than when i watched it previous! For those who aren’t familiar with it, it’s about two brothers Lucas & Nathan Scott who live totally different lives and despise each other. They have the same father Dan Scott who has always been in Nathan’s life but doesn’t want anything to do with Lucas, add to that relationships with with girls and much more drama. Without giving too much away, i really love the romantic pairing of Nathan & Haley, the way their love grows throughout each episode is really nice to see and they are one of my all time fave TV couples.
Music:-
There has been a lot of great music recently and most of the stuff i liked in December was rolled over from November and i’ll still be listening to it in 2017.

Songs:
What You Give – The Tide – If you’ve seen The Vamps on their tour then the chances are you have seen The Tide live too. They have released a lot of awesome songs and What You Give is my fave of theirs at the moment. It’s so catchy that it’ll have you singing along and i also think it sounds a lot like an old school 1D song. Check out all of Click My Fingers EP!
The Space Between A Rock And A Hard Place – 5 Seconds Of Summer 5SOS recently released a lot of B side tracks and whatnot (Check them all out, they don’t disappoint!) and after hearing this it became my all time fave song of theirs. It is 3 minutes and 23 seconds of perfection, it shouldn’t have been hidden away and they should’ve released it as a single. Please listen to this and enjoy it as much as i do!
 Rhythm Inside – Calum Scott – The chances of you having heard his first single (A slowed down cover of Robyn’s Dancing On My Own) are very high and this follow up single is just as amazing. It’s a slow-upbeat, calming song that’s especially great to listen to at night or during a nice relaxing bath. When i first heard it playing i did think it was Charlie Puth so this may be to your liking if you are a fan of his.
 Just Hold On – Louis Tomlinson & Steve Aoki – This song is a great debut from the 1D member and it has grown on me a lot since the first listen. It’s a dance style song with a very catchy chorus and it’s not hard to see why it’s done so well in the charts.
When Christmas Comes Around – Matt Terry – It made a nice change, that they chose an original song written by Ed Sheeran, as the 2016 X Factor winners single. Though it’s about Christmas it doesn’t sound like a typical Christmas song, so it may be ok to still listen to it now that Christmas is over. It suits Matt’s voice perfectly and i would say it’s probably my fave winners single.
Albums:
Dnce – DNCE – Firstly, if you’ve not heard Cake By The Ocean then where have you been? I was a Jonas Brothers fan back in the day and then Joe came out with his new band DNCE. I loved CBTO straightaway and couldn’t stop listening to it and then i also loved Toothbrush so getting the album was a no brainer. It’s full of catchy, dancy songs – basically a perfect pop album that you need to add to your collection.
My fave tracks: Cake By The Ocean, Toothbrush, Body Moves, Doctor You & Faithfully.
Night Driver – Busted – I was a massive Busted fan back in the day but when they reformed i didn’t feel much excitement, then i gave this album a listen! I was very surprised to see them go in such a different direction with their music but also very impressed. Give this a listen, it may just surprise you.
My fave tracks: Night Driver, On What You’re On, Thinking Of You & Without It.
Oh My My – OneRepublic – OneRepublic never let me down when they release an album and this is my fave album that they have ever released. I feel in love with the song Kids and that made me curious about the rest of the album. The deluxe edition contains 20 songs, so you get so much great new music from them for your money. Ryan Tedder has one of my all time fave voices and i would love to see them live someday.
My fave tracks: Kids, Let’s Hurt Tonight, Choke, Heaven & Wherever I Go
24 HRS – Olly Murs – First off, i’m seeing Olly Murs live on his own tour this year and i couldn’t have picked a better album to hear live. This is the best album he has ever done and the songs that he picked to released as singles were really good decisions.
My fave tracks: Unpredictable, You Don’t Know Love, Years & Years & Better Without You.
Glory Days – Little Mix – Little Mix are my fave girl group in the whole wide world and the best female live act that i’ve ever seen. They owned 2016 with Shoutout To My Ex and then the rest of the album came out and it just proves why they are the best girl group. The vocals are perfect and they bring the girl power back with their songs.
My fave tracks: F.U., Oops, Your Love, No More Sad Songs & Shoutout To My Ex.
Unfinished Business – Nathan Sykes  – Nathan’s solo stuff is quite different from what he did when he was in The Wanted and he really has found his style. I was impressed with everyone of his singles so the album was a must have. It really shows off his voice, the ballads especially are stunning. I feel that he’s quite underrated as a solo artist and deserves way more attention.
My fave tracks: Over & Over Again, Good Things Come To Those Who Wait, I Can’t Be Mad, Tears In The Rain & There’s Only One Of You.